i really really really like fish. i've loved them for as long as i can remember. we had some goldfish in a too-small tank when i was very young that i barely remember, but when i was 8, we got a saltwater fish tank that i was obsessed with. we had a book called "the conscientious marine aquarist" that was my damn bible. i don't know how many times i read it over the years. i kept a piece of paper where i tracked every moniterable aspect of the tank. when we moved, we had to sell the tank, but when i was in high school i got a 15 gallon freshwater tank for my betta fish to live in! my sweet sweet eyespy dj (named after a boat i saw once) was beautiful. he was light pink with some cyan flecks on his body and i think he was a delta tail betta. my dream betta was/is koi plakat or a platinum dumbo.

i've been to eight aquariums and when i can't fix that aquarium-itch, i hit up the local pet stores to browse the back wall of fishies. botanical gardens are also often a good place to find fish. the only thing i do at beaches is poke around tidepools. that said, i am beyond petrified of all bodies of water. oceans, rivers, lakes, ponds, everything. once the water is up to my shins, i'm outta there. once while snorkeling (against my will. was literally pulled into the water), i bolted back to shore, hyperventalating and crying after seeing a sea cucumber. here is another confession: i love fishing and eating fish. the heart works in mysterious ways

here are other fish things

believe it or not, ponyo isnt my favourite ghibli movie (kiki's delivery service supremacy), but that part where the that kid and ponyo wake up and see that their backdoor now opens on to water, with little fish and coelocanths and jellyfish all swimming around, is the best animated scene in history. this rating is purely based off my fish-related happiness which is the guiding principle of my life. if you don't know what i'm talking about, just look up "ponyo scene flooding," which surprisingly showed me what i was thinking depsite the caveman-like command.

for my 14th-16th birthdays, my one wish was to go to a fish store (it looked just like patrick's home from spongebob) and just look around at all the tanks. never bought a fish from there. but i looked forward to it so much.

the worst aquariums i've been to are tied between austin, texas and seaside, oregon. the austin one was in like a stripmall and it was so bad/forgettable that for the 2 years i've had this fish shrine on my website, i've had the total number of aquariums ive been to as 7 because i completely forgot i went to this one. it takes a lot for ME to forget a fish... my main memory of the seaside aquarium in oregon is an semi-underground area that is dark and cold as shit and then massive wolf eels being the only thing in the tanks down there. i did not love this one. the best one, even if only out of pure size/volume was the S.E.A. Aquarium in Singapore. pretty sure it's the 3rd biggest aquarium in the world :o

there's a ditch i used to walk past on my way to classes and sometimes when it rains hard enough, it gathers a stream of water and it pushes the grass down and it looks algae. everytime i saw that, i imagined being a big fat koi fish, swimming through it like i am the most calm and happy creature on earth. i've started doing this even when it isnt rainy and i just imagine what where i am in that moment would look like if it was covered in like 6-8 inches of water and i was just a big ol' guy wiggling through it.

my favourite fish

Achilles Tang

my favourite fish! i've always loved tangs/surgeonfish and when i was in fourth grade and had to make a "passion project" (poster and speech about somthing i'm super passionate about), i did mine on surgeonfish! i just think that tangs are the perfect shape, and that these guys in particular are the perfect colour!

Powder Blue Tang

2nd place! such soft colouring... smooth...dusty?

Firefish

this is my boy! i used to have one of these and his name was casper. i remember drawing a picture of him and showing him his portrait lol

Stubby Clownfish

when i saw a picture of this guy for the first time summer 2021 (casually browsing a fish breeding website, as one does at 4am), i literally started crying from laughing, not being able to handle how cute this is. look at him. those little fins.